So my odds have gone down on my cancer fight. I am not done/dead yet, but need to get serious about both cases.
I have a niece that is looking for a toolbox, and the top of my three Craftsman chest, is the right size for her space.
I need to start going through duplicates and give some to her. I also am going to talk to a mechanic at my former shop, as if/when I pass, I want some stuff to go to him or him to pass it along to someone in need/starting out. (for the most part, very little of my stuff, my family is interested in).
That is actually the easy part.
The hard part is figuring what I can pair down now, so I have less stuff for those I leave behind to deal with, while at the same time, having enough to keep going/work on my project, if I pull through this.
Suggestions are welcome as well as wondering how any of you are dealing with these types of things as we all get older.
Thank you
First, so sorry to hear of your battle. Praying for victory for you. Keep fighting!
Sort out all your duplicates and anything you figure you will never use. Give the appropriate tools to your niece now along with the box if you can do without it.
Figure out where you want the rest to go and make a list of what and to who. Let whoever will handle your estate aware of your wishes and when you pass, they will know what to do and who to contact. That way, you keep your stuff to use and no one is burdened with disposing of it because you have as plan and road map already done.
Likely something most of should start thinking about.
Sorry to hear about your situation, that can't be much fun for you and your family.
I too started downsizing a while back. Between a bad work accident and a MS diagnosis a couple years later, I am really looking at what I need, what I like, and what I can sell. My son doesn't have much interest in tools and such, outside bicycle and electronic stuff, so those have gone to him, I don't use metric stuff much, as I mostly play with vintage machine tools now, and I always disliked working on my daily driver. I don't need to keep duplicates, as I don't have a work toolbox nor a service truck, so I have paired down most mechanical stuff, either donating or selling what I don't need, and in some cases scrapping when that is the best situation.
In the end, my wife knows to have an estate sale to clear it all out when she is ready if I am gone, and that is OK as she has no family left. But the important part is to enjoy what time we have left on this earth, and do that however you feel is right.
I have not made a serious plan yet. I am stocking my son up with some stuff, but there are many machinists tools, precision measuring tools such as mics, dial & vernier measuring tools, indicators, seto tooling and much more, not to mention the machines themselves. Just way more than most guys have at home. Worse, my 22 YO son won't slow down long enough for me teach him anything about using my mountain of tools and equipment. At this point my wife despises virtually everything material wise that I own which has resulted in some very heated arguments.
Ultimately, I told her after I pass, contact an auction company and have them haul everything off I own and have them sell it to the highest bidders. They cut cut her a modest check and she won't need to give it another thought.
I went on to tell her if that was too difficult for her then post on marketplace, Craigslist or whatever she chose she had free tools for the taking. Stick signs in the yard pointing to my shop/garage and simply roll the doors up and leave them up until the space has been gutted. I continued with surely if contacting an auction company to tote my stuff off was too challenging, posting a few sign up and rolling the doors to my shop and leaving them that way until my shop was empty should not prove to challenging.
At 62 and in fair health I am not of a mindset to start parting with anything anytime soon. I still have a lot of plans for using my equipment. Half or more of my tools I owned before I ever met her ( I have had the tools and equipment longer than I have had her)
As I said before, my wife despises virtually every earthly thing I own. If I lived the way my wife wanted I would own a Lawn chair and a TV and not much more.
The way I figure it, she can torch the shop and burn the thing down to the foundation or whatever way serves her best to dispose of my stuff. Wife sees zero value in any of it anyway so whichever way she chooses to dispose of the stuff will be no loss to her anyway as the whole kit and kaboodle is nothing but junk.
I figure I will be past caring anyway so whichever path of disposal she chooses won't matter one little bit to me!
Had a bit of an argument with one of my employee's today. I've been a bit down since getting the news, and when you can actually see it affect your doctor, you know you're one of the patients they really like. (maybe I shouldn't have joked about how I will miss the cancer, as then visiting the nurses is considered stalking ;D )
Anyway, she said stay positive, and this made me snap out of it and reply, "I'm positive, I am going to die. I just don't know if it is a year from now, or thirty."
That made me realize what I've been depressed about.
Growing up, I didn't have a lot of friends, and I did start maintaining my grandmothers house at 14. When she passed, I did have some dealing with the estate, but most of it was already done. Primarily, I moved in and watched the house (neighbor tried breaking in), separated my grandfathers tools from mine, to be split, and split the furniture, etc. that I knew who wanted what, and where my grandmother wanted things.
In 2020, my late boss and friend passed away. I gave his brother (my other boss), the key to his house, as he didn't have one. As there was a pandemic on, and I had known the family for 40 years, I was asked to move in, take care of the pet, and help with the estate, with another of their brothers. That was a mess.
Now the brother (former boss) is passing, I've been left with the business (which I had to turn around while going through chemo), been asked my his lazy executor, to deal with the one thing that is going to end up in probate (after working with him the last few years to get everything else setup to avoid it, and nagging him to do that). It has been a glorified cluster.
I realized, I am more worried about leaving my family as much of a mess, as I have had to deal with. Also the realization that while not yet 55, there are a lot of things I am not going to have time to do anymore (working seven days a week, four days off last year after returning from surgery), and tools I enjoyed (it was stuff, growing up as not a lot of friends my age, even now), I won't get to. A tough reality, but being on the end of the mess, I am now looking at it from a much different viewpoint.
Sorry for the long post, this is/has been cathartic.
Talk through whatever is on your mind. Several of us here are old duffers and have been down the same path with friends and loved ones in the past so while we may not be facing what you are, in a sense we can relate and welcome hearing about whatever you would like to share with the group.
If you find it therapeutic sharing your thoughts with folks here, then so much the better. Speaking personally, I greatly appreciate you choosing to share your thoughts as you face the greatest challenge that every one of us at some point will face, our own mortality.
To echo Uncle Buck, it is this personalization that made the Garage Gazette special, and I am glad to see continue here.
sad news to hear old friend. that said, you don't know what you don't know. i have seen people beat things they shouldn't. i have also seen friends literally die on the spot in front of me. i could slip on the ice and not see tomorrow.
chin up and remember this is a place for friends to gather.
Quote from: skfarmer on Feb 15, 2025, 10:30 AMsad news to hear old friend. that said, you don't know what you don't know. i have seen people beat things they shouldn't. i have also seen friends literally die on the spot in front of me. i could slip on the ice and not see tomorrow.
chin up and remember this is a place for friends to gather.
Absolutely correct SK. We're a tight bunch around here and most of us are seniors in the truest sense of the word. I'm a heartbeat away from 70y/o and am also looking to get my affairs in order in regards to tools and equipment. Longevity is not a part of my gene pool, hence at this point I do recognize that I'm probably on borrowed time. Making a plan to pare down the shop and garage equipment is only prudent.
God bless you -- praying the diagnosis gets better and you rebound quickly.
I'm not real good at making the "right" statement but here goes anyway.
As above, feel free to post up whatever. I'm all in on "keep moving forward" as in the Movie Meet the Robinsons. I'm on the back nine as well. While I still buy things and have spent the last couple yrs trying to learn to tig weld, I have gotten to where I give things away or just throw them away. Selling is just too big a hassle for me. The money it might bring isn't near enough to deal with the "do you have it/will you take" crowd.
We will have our second grandchild in June and have the two step grandsons we were told aren't our grandsons by their mother. I'm not sure why anyone would be like that to children and no telling what she tells them, but bottom line, she broke the vows and "her" ex-husband is now my son in law whether she likes it or not. I make it my goal to have patience and move on from being the father to being the grandfather and it is not easy as I have high expectations. Wife tells me all the time to lighten up, they already have parents. We are here to have the pool and fun place to come to get away from their reality even if it is just for the afternoon.
That said, I highly encourage a good diet, plenty of good sleep and plenty of water. Cancer is no joke.
Here's to hoping you do go the longer time and can get to all the goals. If not set the goals put them in order and get to work on that list. I can believe my mother spends her time on taxes and other paper work but as the wife tells me that is her business, not mine. She sez she is organizing it, I say just chuck it into the fireplace. No one will care in a decade.
and in closing, be nice to everyone. You just don't know what they are going through in their life and it sure is nice to go to the grocery, pool or hardware where they call you by name and you call them by theirs. Having relationships are really a great thing and it took me over half my life to figure that out.
Keep Moving Forward!
Been unfortunate this week (and why I haven't been logged on), as I was diagnosed with covid on Monday. My only symptom was fatigue and that started after visiting my former boss/now business partner, in the hospital. His heart is giving out and I told him my updated condition, and we joked about racing to open the business in heaven. His response was he has me beat.
I'm limited on what I can do legally, until he passes, as he is not in the shape to sign off on the legal paperwork that would allow the business to continue after us.
Think we may have to shutdown the restaurant this weekend, better safe then work the help to death (I am supposed to be the only one short term up there).
I am lucky enough that most of our customer base, I have known them or their families for years. From first dates, first kid's, through last meals. I generally don't get to go anywhere without being somewhat recognized (I know you from where to thinking I am one of the brothers, as I have been mistaken for one or one of their kid's for decades, I generally didn't get tips because people thought I was an owner).
This has been beneficial in multiple ways. One friend gave me a much better education about one of my "conditions" I would have to deal with, then those at the hospital that are supposed to go over it with you. (five minutes of training)
While cancer isn't a joke, it certainly has made me take a lot of life less seriously, then I ever have. Humor is a great way to cope with it IMHE.
There is no right statement we just have our experiences.
Bad week this last week, most symptoms are listed as side effects of Chemo, as well as side effects of the cancer winning. Two side effects I seem to be having more represent the cancer winning, including loss of 15# last week.
So next week I get scheduled for the test that lets me know which way the wind blows.
So the only thing I got done with tools today was picked up some phosphoric acid to finish off the little bit of rust on two of the last two tools I picked up, and if good news, start on the VW wheels.
Got my medical POA/life directive filled, notarized and filed with the medical group. Got multiple copies for my family and one for my go bag.
Started work on the beneficiary deeds, not quite sure about one thing (says diagram, unless you print then says legal description, so which?).
Figuring out TOD on two of the three vehicles, one already done years ago.
Contacted lawn service as last year I took care of the smaller lawn while working seven days a week and not a chance now. (can't walk without assistance)
Not quite there, but getting things done.
You're in our prayers AG. I respect the fact that despite your grievous situation, you're "taking care of business" to ensure continuity for the future. God bless!!
Quote from: goodfellow on Apr 22, 2025, 05:45 PMYou're in our prayers AG. I respect the fact that despite your grievous situation, you're "taking care of business" to ensure continuity for the future. God bless!!
Absolutely, on my prayer list and in my prayers daily.
Quote from: goodfellow on Apr 22, 2025, 05:45 PMYou're in our prayers AG. I respect the fact that despite your grievous situation, you're "taking care of business" to ensure continuity for the future. God bless!!
Very eloquent I couldn't have said it better. Amen.
Starting to see the greed. I've been trying to do things, to keep things simple, the hard one I had to figure out was do I know a VW lover, friend, to give the superbeetle to if I die. I figured out that one yesterday and contacted my friend (made sure they had garage space), explained it is a just in case, they wouldn't mind the bug, but want me around instead (known him since he was either 3 or 5), heck wanted to date his sister, but she was all fired up to get too serious too quick, and I knew that wouldn't last (lived a couple years with her family out of two VW buses).
So anyway I forward the information to my executor, and then let my mom know, and she was like, "we could sell that". Sorry, my estate, and I am trying to make things simpler for you all.
Quote from: Uncle Buck on Feb 14, 2025, 07:45 PMAt 62 and in fair health I am not of a mindset to start parting with anything anytime soon.
I am also 62 and have been contemplating my mortality. I have been trying to reduce my junk pile so my kids won't have to deal with it.
But as you said, I am really not ready to get rid of anything that I have lived with all of these years.
Some would call me a "hoarder", I suppose.
In 2020, I was asked to move into my best friend/late bosses house. I started working a bunch of hours while helping with the estate, etc. I started needing my laser printer but it was still at my old house, and Costco had a sale on a newer model that was also wireless and duplex. I ordered it. Then a week or two later, one of my deal of the day sites, had a knock off toner for reasonable.
Since that time I picked up a color laser all in one, as I really needed the scanner function, and found the model I had been looking at for right around half off.
Today I took the black laser printer up to the shop for a gal (calls herself my work wife, best friends goddaughter), that works for me. She is in school and her inkjet is dry as usual (normally uses the library printer or her sisters).
One thing down to a good use.
Ordered some DOE metric wrenches for my niece. Pretty sure I have SAE ones in my move stuff so she will get those shortly. Wondering about ordering her screwdrivers, or just leaving her mine along with my DBE wrench sets.
Passed along my Blackstone and gadgets for it to my parents (since I am over there, we will all three use it).
Working on key identification, business stuff, and a couple other items today.
At 62, I have been contemplating my own mortality. I might have 20 years left if I am lucky.
I'd like to pare down my junk so my kids don't have to deal with it. The problem is that I have a lot of good old quality USA stuff but nobody wants to give me dime for it.
Not when they can just go to HF and buy a whole set of wrenches or whatever for $19.99
I have promised my tools to my kids, especially my daughters. They have expressed great interest, but I don't really know what they would do with them. The SAE stuff is pretty useless these days, although my oldest daughter just bought a '65 Ford Mustang basket case (for $5,000!). Maybe there is hope.
I don't want to just give this stuff away. But...
When I was a teenager, there was an old guy who was at the local swap meet/flea market every weekend. He had a bunch of stuff for sale, including a few old chains. He had those chains stretched out every week at the front of his space. These were 20-25 foot chains, and he had them marked at $200 each (this was in the late 1970s).
I once asked about the chains, and he loudly proclaimed, "Those are CIVIL WAR chains"!
Those chains and that guy were there every weekend until I moved away in 1985.
I am sure that guy died still owning those chains.
I don't want to be that guy.
Honestly, the SAE stuff, I considered putting into Home Repair toolkits, with a basic hammer, level (size of picture hanging), wrench size up to 3/4, with an adjustable wrench for bigger then that, and basic set of pliers.
Past that, find someone who has a farm with an old tractor or something for larger stuff and give it to one of their kids so it finds uses. (what is it worth to you or your family when your dead, or is it a time suck)
I plan on a lot of metric stuff going to a niece. My old mechanic I worked for (mom's first grade boyfriend), sold his shop, and I still have a tool chest down there (left for them to use for electrical stuff). The guy that bought it knows me, met me twice. I am tempted to leave him the rest for duplicated, hiring someone, etc. Otherwise I have a nephew, who doesn't really have a place to keep it, but his fathers barn/shed, which is another good option. He wants to end up out that way eventually and being able to fix his own stuff would be a benefit.
The way I feel and I am a couple months away from my next scan/knowing, my body is telling me I am losing the battle. Lots of stuff to do, but not all the energy to do it.